Introduction to the SIB

Congratulations!

If you are reading this, then you have taken the first step into a new way of life by not only learning to read American English, but by learning to find and use a computer.  This is an exciting time for the Squirrel Information Bureau as we unveil the first on-line network for non-squirrels with Interspecies Legal Agreements (ILAs).

Purpose

To provide information to squirrels and non-squirrels and to nurture the development of squirrel and non-squirrel relations.

Community

We, at the Squirrel Information Bureau, are focusing our efforts to unite squirrels and non-squirrels through community outreach programs like our Job Fairs, where we offer employment opportunities with the SIB to non-squirrels (like the webmaster of this network!)

Protection

We, at the Squirrel Information Bureau, do more than just provide information -- we provide protection, too!  Contact one of our representatives for a list of prices. (Unless your species has adopted American currency, we will work with your representatives to determine the best form of payment for your species.)

Economy

By providing valuable work experience to non-squirrels, the Squirrel Information Bureau hopes to establish the world's first interspecies economy.  At this time, there are no plans to include Humans in this new economy.

Future Objectives

Our objectives at this time are simple: continue to provide information, protection, and work experience to non-squirrels.  Any future objectives will be made public.

In Closing

We, at the Squirrel Information Bureau, are eager to bring information to the non-squirrel public.  We hope to unite squirrels and non-squirrels through information sharing, community outreach programs, and offering once-in-a-lifetime employment opportunities.  This is an exciting time for us.  We hope your species finds it equally as exciting!